Shhhhhhhhhh, I don't want him to hear me....

It's 9am on day one of the Chore Chart being in residence. Jack got up and immediately disappeared into the kitchen for a few minutes. Then he came back muttering under his breath and counting something off on his fingers. I realized suddenly...

Me: "Good morning, were you checking the chart?"

He: "Mornin' Mamma, yes but I can't remember it all."

Me: "I have an idea...."

Before you panic, I didn't THINK about the idea - it just came to me. That means it is safe and will not destroy my timetable (unlike thinking, "I ought to blog about this before I forget" which will kill 30 minutes).

I got a piece of paper and a pen and we went into the kitchen. I told him the duties from wake up until breakfast and he wrote them down. He has completed everything almost totally on his own including scouring the house for all the reward chips he had scattered to the four winds. He started to be mouthy and pulled it right back together - that's right buddy... we don't want to cross off Mr. Frownie now do we???

If you have a sensational or simply HUMAN child and need an idea, this behavior chart worked wonders for us from the second it was implemented. In kindy Jack was getting "called out" over SIXTY times a day - this was an average from a week of his teacher keeping track. We'll just ignore the fact that to be in trouble THAT many times in K means your teacher is anal lol. But I digress... here's how it works:

Take a simple index card. We used the colored ones because, well, someone let me think and no harm could come of it... until the kid only wants to take one color and you are out of it.

On index card you draw a predetermined number of smileys and below the smileys in a box draw a frownie (Mr. Frownie).

Each time the child does something unacceptable or disrespectful they lose a smiley and HE/SHE is the one that must cross it off. It doesn't work as well unless they OWN the crossing off.

As long as they do not have Mr. Frownie crossed off by the end of the day it was a "good day". In our house that is rewarded by a chip, chips are saved up to earn treats - more on that in a minute. If Mr. Frownie is crossed off - Game Over. No TV, no dessert, eat dinner, have bath, go to bed, try again tomorrow.

Back to the chips. I love the chips! Jack loves the chips! Later we will make a fun chip bank (after I have finished all the crap I have to do and LAMINATED the chore chart lol and figured out what to make a chip bank out of. STOP HER SHE WILL BE THINKING LATER!!!!!).

Aided by the (soon to be laminated) chore chart Jack can earn up to 5 chips per day. 1 chip for completing his duties, 1 chip for remembering to go to the bathroom (don't ask) and the possibility of three "extra credit" chips for reading an extra book, doing extra math sheets and patching his eye an extra 2 hours. If he does something outstanding during the day like helps with something without being asked or helps someone or something like that - I will either give him another chip or let him pick from the goodie bag. I have a grab bag of little trinkets and slips of paper with treats written on them (stay up an extra half hour, Mommy will play Spyro with you for 30 min, get a cone at McDonald's, you pick dinner, etc).

Together we create a catalog of rewards and their chip value... a movie is 25 chips, a pay-per-view is 5 chips, putt-putt is 20 and so on. We can add to the catalog at any time and he can repeat rewards as often as he has chips to do so. It works well and turned him around because he feels in control of SOMETHING when most of the time he says his body and brain won't let him do what he wants. It also helps him "tell" his body and brain that he HAS to do X to get what he wants.

Whatever gets us through the day... and this gets us through the day with limited screaming and tears (from both of us), keeps him reading, works on his math and writing and keeps the damn patch on and makes him feel like he achieved something and makes me feel like an ok Mom because he feels good about helping and achieving!

OK, so I predicted 30 killed minutes til end of post.... *sigh* It is 10:03am

In the last hour I have:

Helped a friend in need
Conferenced about a name for my new biz. division
Helped Jack look for his patch
Had Jack clean his room
Took out the trash
Tried to make 4 phone calls
Spoke to 4 voice mails
Drank my instant breakfast
Took my many meds
Answered several emails and done my blog.

My day has just begun, but so far so good!

We are here, breathing and moving forward and trying to improve ourselves, our days and our lives one step at a time and hopefully with lots of love and laughter thrown in.