Who gave you permission to get so big?

Well Mamma, I guess Jesus did!

The speed with which the time has flown since Jack has been on Earth amazes me on a daily basis. How tricky is time that it seems only moments pass when it has actually been years, some days if feels like we have eternity and yet...we never have enough time do we?

Saturday was another "BIG" day, another step away from babyhood and on towards the man he will one day be.

Jack Crossed Over from Bobcat to Tiger Saturday. The Crossover was at Walsingham Park. It was one of those days that was gorgeous to experience (if you were on the air conditioned side of a window)! It was a sunny, hot, beautiful location and surrounded by friends and family.

Jack withstood the heat like an absolute trooper, which is huge for him. Ordinarily a day like that would have him in a frenzy of discomfort; scratchy shirt, sweat rolling down, soggy socks, hot hat. He would look at me periodically like, "HOW am I going to survive this?!?!" But he did and I was so proud!

Lunch was pizza - which the boy detests - I know, I know. I don't like it either and people think Jack and I are aliens or something. You should just SEE other mom's faces when they ask Jack his favorite dinner and his reply is,

"Salmon with pesto and some broccoli."

That's my wee gourmand! That being said, he eats all the same junk as other kids as evidenced by the TWO root beer floats and the cupcake he ate at Crossover!!

It was a wonderful day, despite the heat. We got lucky and staked out a big tree by the lake and we all camped under it. It just felt so good to sit with these people and be myself and know that I can be my smart-ass self and it is appreciated (I think) and not judged, we call out whomever's kid is screwing up without thinking twice and spoil them all equally.

I realized the other night that I finally feel like I belong, that I fit in, that I am a part of this life I have now. All the years of infertility hell, I never fit with the friends I had then, I didn't belong to their easy party world or their family fun world as the case may be. I was always on the edge, on some fine line of my own. When I was pregnant everything was still eggshells and at that point most of my friends were young and single and prowling clubs.

Early on when Jack came home I didn't fit in with the moms I knew because they were either SAHM and couldn't understand that although I was home I worked or they were working moms who thought I had it so easy. It was hard to explain to either faction so I quit trying.

I have this life for a reason and while I wish Jack will not have to face the challenges and the labels he inevitably will, I am so lucky to have the people around us that I do. My family is so far away, I IM my Sister in Law as often as I can and drive my parents crazy with hours long phone calls, but it isn't the same. I have finally met some truly true friends who, "Lord love 'em" (as my Nana used to say), accept and care about us "just as we are"! (Thank you Bridget Jones and OMG is Colin Firth dreamy or what!?!?!)

I am "here" there's no getting around it, you're stuck with me.